Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Randomize