if i can run in heels then i can drive
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
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