He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize
