Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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