is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
