found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
