this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize