I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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