is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
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