It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
