We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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