i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
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That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
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She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
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