Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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