We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
