There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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