the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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