It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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