Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Randomize
