rhymes with "ouble enetration"
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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