i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
