somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
