THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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