My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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