Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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