no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Randomize