i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
