Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I think we might need a safe word for this...
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