The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
