I think i peed on brittanys purse
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Randomize
