Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
