This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
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