I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Randomize
