He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Randomize
