did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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