The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
