Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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