Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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