Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
