can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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