after a month anything with tits is on the radar
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
My vagina just recognized that song.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
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