thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
