there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Reggie can tackle my bush.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
