Kiss
Puke
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
This show inspires me to have sex in space
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
