I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Randomize
