I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize