I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
