Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
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Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
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She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
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