why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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