She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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