Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
She said her name was "party"
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
