What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Do vagina's smell?
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
