The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Hey
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GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize