Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
He has the fingertips of a God
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
