there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
We named our party play list daddy issues
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Randomize