STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
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