after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
it's like iHOP with fire
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
