Can Purell be used as lube?
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
