I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Randomize
