It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
