Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
You made out with two different species that night
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
