i don't like sucking hair
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
