I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
My cat gives me a boner
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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