all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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