The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
